In between Luck…

Monday was well what can I say a bit of a stretch on my brain with all the information I was required to take in. My first day at my new job and it went exceptionally well. Luckily half the training videos I watched that morning where interesting to watch and I had knowledge of them already thanks to completing my National Vocational Qualification in Retail Operations last year. We did a lot on health and safety and plenty about working in John Lewis and how the company strives for success and good sales. It was a lot to take in but I was with three other new starters so we worked together. I saw that they looked concerned about remembering everything so I decided to start talking about what we had just watched and encourage them to join in as well. Going over the details in the how to sell video about the important steps to making and closing a sale which we all went over again in our heads until we felt sure we had remembered them. Also the training video on health and safely we talked about all the hazards we had seen whilst watching it and why they were so dangerous and how they could have been avoided. It was lots of fun actually I enjoyed it. We were given a tour of the store and told all about all the different departments behind the scenes like the visual arts team who make and create the displays for John Lewis. We were told about the branch councils and their rolls within the company. We were also told about all the great perks of being a partner rather than an employee of John Lewis. As a partnership we are all a part of the business and so we all work together and there is no arguments and rivalry over sales commissions because they just don’t exist with this company everyone gets equal treatment. Instead of commissions we are encouraged to do well by the fact that at the end of the year the partnership will be entitled to a bonus. This bonus is basically a sum of profit that the company has made through great success. Anyway I feel I’m going to be boring some people with this entire dribble but the perks of this company are outstanding! We get a nurse, a physio therapist, and a chiropodist and a councillor as well as special exclusive holiday homes to stay at with really good rates. Plus we get lots of fun days out to places at cheaper prices. Ticket subs, meaning we get half our money back on concert tickets we buy. Its amazing the stuff we are entitled to. Anyway the first day went without a hitch and I really enjoyed myself! At the end f the day I spent 2 hours on my department getting a tour and being told where I would be based. It all seemed too good to be true and well I was to find out it was!!!

Thursday was quite and interesting day. Damian, Joshua and myself went to Solihull parked the car and had a wonder around the shops. Bought a few little things and then I walked hand in hand along the high street to the bank where we had an appointment to set up our new joint savings account. We decided if we are getting married we would have a joint account to build up a part of our earnings every month to pay for the wedding. In the end we ended up getting an ISA account. A good one too with a decent interest build up and I can save up to £3000 pounds a year. Then we set up a little account for Joshua to keep his money too! After this we went to the Mc Donald’s for something to eat and we had promised Joshua that we would go if he behaved in the bank. Which he generally did and we were there a long time. Then we strolled around the shops some more before going to Thomas Cook to sit with their overseas wedding specialist. His name was Ian and he was probably one of the nicest most polite helpful people I have ever come across in my life and I don’t think I’ll ever want to book a holiday with anyone else. We talked about Vegas for an hour. No matter what we did it was going to be expensive. I think he realised we were going to have to save hard for this and he didn’t let that judge how he was with us. He tried to find ways to get us a better deal. I said to him that I understood a place like Vegas wasn’t going to be cheep and that we could save it we just wanted to get all that we could in with the huge price. In the end the cheapest way would have cost us £5000 pounds. I was gob smacked when he said it and worse still was the fact that was without eating or spending money. It was just too much! So in the end we were looking rather sad about the whole idea of going. Then he turned to me and he asked if I had happened to look at the P & O cruise brochure he had given us. We said we had done and really liked that idea too but Vegas had at one point seemed the cheapest. H e giggled and said my dear a lot of things are cheaper that Vegas! So he looked for us and he found the most amazing most wonderful holiday that I had with all my heart always dreamed of doing! Basically it would be 2 weeks on the cruise liner Oceania. All our meals would be included and we would fly to Barbados and join the ship for a 2 week sail around the Caribbean islands. I was in awe of this idea and when we asked how much it would be for us both he said £2000 pounds. I was laughing so much I could have cried with happiness! He said the wedding would be onboard at sea and would be performed by the captain. He said it would only cost us an extra £1000 for this and that had lots included within it. I was smiling with such happiness and Damian too loved the idea. Married by the Captain of a cruse liner in the middle of the Caribbean Sea. We agreed on this and Damian said we would pay the deposit as soon as we could get it together. I got worried when he said this and he replied look I would book it now but work are late paying us and I just cannot get it in any other way. So I nodded. Ian reassured me that a few days wouldn’t hurt and that if anything the wedding was the one to make sure we booked ASAP. So that was settled and I eve popped in a lovely bridal shop to tell them what I was planning and to get an idea when I could come in and try on some dresses. They said to leave the fiancée and bring my mom with me. Mom didn’t know yet and I was dying to tell her but worried what she would think about it. When Friday night came I did talk to her and she was really happy for me and said I was doing the best thing and that she loved us both and nothing would make her more happy than if we went and did it. She even offered to look after Libby for me when we go! Now I just have to get Damian to tell him mom and dad! I don’t think that he will do just yet. Maybe he will wait till he sees them in person. Not that it will make any difference in person how they react to it. They don’t want me to be with Damian so I doubt very much they will be happy for him getting married to me! All I care about is him now and focusing on saving up to pay for this wedding and I cannot wait to do it!

After three days off I was feeling really relaxed and ready for my first full day’s hard work on the shop floor. Friday came and I was up early and dressed in time for my lift to work with Damian. He dropped me off outside work and as I was early I took a nice stroll along the road and got myself an apple at the fruit shop. I bumped into one of Damian’s work friends at this time called Martin and well he is such a nice guy really friendly and helpful and if it wasn’t for him I think I would have broke down yesterday! He asked if I was ok and I said yes and asked if I could walk into work with him. He was happy to oblige so we headed into the partners entrance and up to the locker rooms. I hung my coat and then with my bags headed down to the shop floor with him. I informed him I was feeing nervous and he told me not to worry he would take me to my department and if I was worried to come see him as he was only just across the walkway from me on the lighting department. I smiled at this and thanked him for his help. He said hey no problem it’s what we’re here for to help out the new people! So he left me to it and Christine my section manager was working at the counter when I arrived. I smiled and said hello where as she took one look at me and said you will have to remove that scarf it’s not business dress. I took it off and apologised as I recalled in my memory wearing the same scarf on the Monday and having nothing said to me about it then. Also the fact that I had read in the dress code, that fancy scarf’s were in actual fact aloud. Regardless I didn’t argue with her and took it off. Then she looked at my bags telling me I should have got a locker upstairs. I argued politely that I should have been allocated a locker with my department downstairs. She looked at me and said there wasn’t one for me so I should go upstairs with my bags. I couldn’t go and use the ones in the changing rooms because I had no money and you need a pound for them. So she looked at me slightly annoyed and said well you will have to share with someone. After sorting that mess I felt really low and stupid. She asked me to go over to stationary with Susan because they were short staffed. That seemed alright but I couldn’t understand why I was being put over there when I wasn’t fully trained on the tills and being a new starter I couldn’t really help with so much. I could have argued this but I didn’t and went with Susan who seemed nice enough telling me about a few things like counting the gift vouchers in a morning. Then she got busy and I was left to unpacked some stock and find out where it belonged. I got really agitated about this as I hadn’t a clue what I was supposed to do and she didn’t really tell me. I just got on with it and managed to find where it was all supposed to go. Then I was told to go on first break. This was hard as the girl whose locker I was sharing was off somewhere and I couldn’t get my things from her. So I sat in the canteen and luckily saw one of my friend’s so she sat with me and kept me company but I didn’t have anything to eat. I was at an all time low now and also Damian’s work friends who knew me didn’t even speak to me at all! I was feeling horrible by the time I left to go back down to the floor with a very bad pain in my stomach called hunger! I found out I wasn’t to stay on stationary long. I went upstairs at twelve to be till trained. Richard one of the other new starters I knew was up there and he told me how much fun he was having which made me feel again worse. The woman who did the till training seemed nice enough and we got cracking with it and I felt I would have liked to stay there all day and not go back to the shop floor. However we didn’t get to finish our training till’s as the dummy credit cards wouldn’t work! So we went downstairs and I was chucked over on another section where all the cleaning products and storage boxes are. I was wondering at this point why I was working all over the department rather than where I was supposed to be. It was getting hard on me to take everything in as I was being thrown on different sections. Anyway Christine put me with another lady on the till so I could practice I got talking to her, I think her name was Janette and she was fairly new too. She asked how I was finding it and I told her openly I hated it so far. Well I tried to help but I didn’t have a till number because my training was incomplete and I felt annoyed standing and doing nothing so I went over to another lady and asked if I could help. She was grateful so I started helping to unpack some other kitchen things like mops and clothes pegs. Then I was off on break. Still I couldn’t find the girl to get my stuff so someone was sent to find her and my break time slowly slipped away as I waited! In the end fifteen minutes had passed when they found her and I got my stuff. I looked at my watch it was half past three and I said nicely that it wasn’t fair for me not to have forty five minutes so I would be back down at quarter past. No one argued with me and I headed upstairs on my own. I bumped into Damian’s section manager Chris and he asked how it was going. When I told him he was very disturbed by it saying I should have been budied the whole day and never left my own. I said to him maybe it was hard because we did get busy. He said it was no excuse I had to be with someone and he was going to sort something out at once. Also he said he would get a locker arranged for me. I was very grateful for this and almost started crying to him. Instead I smiled and went to the canteen to eat my lunch, where I bumped into Kath. She is a friend of Damian’s and manager of lighting. She was with another person from the office downstairs who knows Damian I couldn’t remember his name. They were appalled when I asked how it was going. All Damian’s friends still sat and ignored me and I felt red hot with anger at there ignorance! So I ate my sandwiches which made me feel at least a bit better than I had and I went one with my day thanking them for being kind to me. When I got downstairs it was still lots of the same with running around doing all the odd jobs which I felt was the new person’s job anyway so I didn’t moan about it. I didn’t moan the whole day really. I just felt that I had been left too much and not given the right encouragement from my manager of my colleagues. I was finally given a number for the till but I wasn’t aloud on it un-supervised so I had to stand with someone for the rest of the day and take sales with his supervision. It was rather dull and yet again I was on another section of the department with all the hovers and microwaves and toasters but that wasn’t the section I was told that I would be working on! I felt emotionally sick and tired of it and I just wanted to get the day over with. I felt bad about Damian and how much he had waned me to do well! I felt I had let him down. I was totally gutted and Martin seemed to notice all though the day he said hello and asked how I was and told me not to worry keep your chin up and he kept cracking a joke to make me smile! At closing I finally got a locker and went to sort that out! Then I gave Martin a huge hug in front of all the other lads on his department which made them all stop what they were doing. I said to him thank you for everything and for treating me like a partner instead of a ghost or a skive because you’re the only one who has down here today! Some of them looked shocked and wondered what I had meant but Martin knew he had been keeping an eye on me and he noticed too how I was treated. Lucky for me Damian told me today that his section manager who I had been talking to Chris had come down to see Christine about my locker problem as he had promised and seen me all on my own at a till point and no one was with me at all. It supported my story so they couldn’t turn round and say she was fine and that I didn’t know what I was on about! I’m not so excited about Monday because Damian doesn’t work then but he said he would take care of me always on Wednesday and Friday when he is there. H e kissed me this morning and told me he would be ready to have a go at anyone on his floor for asking how I was enjoying it after they had ignored me. He called me about an hour ago and said that for people had been up to Lee Page in personnel, he is the guy who trained us and took us around on Monday, and told him how I was upset and that they had seen I was being treat badly. So hopefully there will be some changes made. If not I think I will see Lee myself and ask to be moved. I’m not being pushed around by anyone!

21^st May 2006-05-21

Dear Diary…

It’s quite a sad week and happy all rolled into one this week… It’s difficult to explain how I feel really it’s quite bizarre. I’ve had a fun filled day today of happy strolls with my puppy Libby on her first beach walk! I enjoyed myself all the time I was with her smiling and laughing as she played in the shallow waves and didn’t take risks by following Sam into the deep water. She was very well behaved and I was pleased with her! She got tired though bless it was such a long walk and she took to standing along side me with I loved because I wasn’t the only person there my mom and step dad were too and my friend David and yet she chose to walk with me so it made me feel that she does love me and has high regard for me. So we walked along the sand dunes Libby ran to an older couple who started kicking at her and shouting for her to get away which I thought was absolutely absurd! For two people as old as they were to be walking  along a beach where over 30 or more people were strolling along with there dogs could not presume that someone’s pet might come and try to be friendly and say hello I have no idea? Apart from saying some extremely heartless word I shall not repeat here, I also felt a strong urge to whack the horrid old man round the head with Libby’s poop bag! Fresh poop too I might add! LOL me and my puppies poop it never ends LOL! Then after a while we encountered too wonderful Labrador crosses which the owner happily referred them as labby doodles! They played with Libby and Sam for over half an hour refusing to allow Sam to play ball alone and chasing each other in the shallow sea. The owner petted Libby and gave her a hearty treat before going on her way having to lead the dogs to do so! Libby and Sam watched happily as if to say goodbye. We headed up the beach face and back on ourselves s along the cliffs till we came to a lovely quaint little café by an amusement area where we sat to eat a small breakfast. The owners were extremely warm and polite having come out to chat with us about the dogs amongst other things. Then we said our farewell and headed back towards the cars. Along the way my mom and myself were discussing things as you do general chit chat really and my attention was suddenly altered to a small boy about 4 maybe riding his bike with stabilisers and his helmet tight around his face. His father was behind on another bike calling encouragement. It made me drift into thinking of Damian and Joshua my two boys who I seem to be missing like a piece of my heart has been taken! Really that’s just what it is for me. A hole at the moment that yes I know will be filled and I’m happy they have time together and Josh can see his grandparents. However I still find myself missing them greatly!

I’m spending the rest of the week going on long walks with the dogs having time with my mom and well preparing myself for my job interview on Friday. It’s with the department store John Lewis. It will be a part time sales position and I’m not the only one at the interview looking for a job so it’s important that I make myself stand out. I really need this job work is hard to find at the moment and I need the money to help Damian. So fingers crossed I’ll do well! Well I cannot think of anything else to put now so I’m going to post this and enjoy a few hours web surfing and friend chatting!

To my loving son and fiancée I miss you both greatly and will see you when you get home xxx